Taking a step back today to remember this is not an emergency.  I was reminded of this on CraftMBA yesterday. Thanks Megan for putting things back in perspective. Today I began knowing I’d have a more relaxed day, and found it confirmed with this lovely prompt at kind over matter. I’d be riding around on a bike like that, and maybe find myself at the shore. Thanks Amanda and Jenn for keeping the calm going. Then I just could not stop thinking The Bike song by Amy Correia. If you listen to the lyrics it is a rather sad, but the tempo is HAPPY. I love this song. Thanks Amy for putting a positive spin on it

Have a great day!

Yesterday I was moved to write about how my work matters in the world.  As I think back on hurricane Katrina on it’s 5th anniversary, I feel compelled to share some of my vision.  Katrina changed the way I see myself in the world, the way I am in the world. More compassionate, more outspoken, more willing to take chances. I realized that much of my discontent came from not having purpose. I had recently left my full time teaching position disgruntled by the importance of PSSAs over the art. Now education is still high on my personal agenda of change, but I realized I was not cut out to be a change maker within the system. I decided it was time to figure out how to earn a living from my creative skills, dare I say as an artist. I thought if I could generate enough income that way I could find a way to serve a cause important to me. The problem was I was not sure what that would look like. I am not a consistent or prolific enough a painter to make much money that way. I decided to try creativity coaching. After making my way through Eric Maisel’s course and helping my practice client cross a few major hurdles I realized I needed a coach more than I wanted to be one. My client Mary Medrano was working out of a tiny space cleared in her garage, and is now a well established artist with a studio space at the Alameda Artworks. I loved, and still love Mary’s work and knew that though I may be good at coaching I wanted to be making. About a year later I was back at painting portraits with the still present knowledge I would not get far. If painting pretty pictures was to be my gift to the world, I would need to paint more than 4 a year. Around that time I found myself on my first urban exploration in an abandoned factory with 3 girlfriends. I had my faithful Olympus point & shoot and I went crazy. That place woke something up in me and I knew it would not go away. I have been back in that factory countless times since, and am intimate with the way it has been encroached upon by nature. Each season a little more here, a little less there. This has become the focus of all my work. Man Human vs Nature and varying themes stemming from this. Thus I have decided after much angst as to where to focus my attention on world tragedy (there are so many possibilities) , that the environment is my cause. Specifically trees.

I want the planet to survive us and to do that it needs trees. I want us to survive ourselves, and to do that we need trees. In the coming year I will be creating a subdivision of PHOTO.WORKS featuring design work in support of tree preservation. This may seem like an oxymoron since I am focusing on paper products i.e. trees, but not so. All my fine art prints are done on a bamboo paper that is more sustainable than most alternatives, and my design line will use recycled papers. I am very conscious of using the most environmentally friendly products available in all my work. This will be explained in detail on my website at relaunch

Beyond that I am starting to see that my other skills could easily come into play as I connect with my customers and social network friends. Illustration, speaking, even teaching are all possible. Collaboration is inevitable I think. This excites me more than I can say. I hope you will stick with me this first year as I find my way on this blog, and with my various projects. I believe very good things are in store.

Oh I almost for got about Bambi. First off I am not a vegetarian, and I have a few times eaten venison. This has more to do with the way I have come to see things. As I recover from a cultural estrangement from nature, I have learned to find beauty where there may appear to be none, and positive energy in the worst of circumstances. If I don’t, in my fairly comfortable life, I cannot rise to the occasion when those less fortunate need help. So while I have not given up animal products entirely I have significantly curtailed them in my diet. I choose locally and or naturally raised products from small farms. And when I see the deer in my back yard, the same ones that mowed down my tomatoes , I see Bambi, not dinner.

I will close with a quote from my friend Janet, another talented artist. This was her comment on yesterday’s post.

When we take care of our world we are taking care of the whole world, especially when we make choices that radiate that goodness and energy out.

This is my hope for all of us.

Last week marked the fifth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. My friend, mentor, and muse Miss Patti Digh reposted 2 essays she had written ” as she watched from a distance the terrible situation deepen in New Orleans” 5 years ago. They are powerful and no less relevant today than when written. It got me thinking, what have I done in that time to be more active in meaningful ways. How do I consider myself part of the solution? As I prepare to write Monday’s essay on intention I find myself with a perfect topic. How does what I am doing with my life make a positive difference in this world? I will follow up with my story tomorrow, but for now let me tell you about the butterflies. This year has been another rough one in my garden. Last year was the summer of excessive rain and early blight. This year early excessive heat, and my being away more than usual have provided again poor results. Many things are done blooming now and some never really got a good start, but this plant is crazy happy, and so are the butterflies. I have seen more butterflies in my garden this past week than ever before, and who can resist taking a butterfly picture? Really? While I attempted to capture this one I noticed 2 blue swallowtails engaged in a mating dance. They looped and darted around the garden, their iridescent wings catching in the sunlight for a good 5 minutes. They would occasionally land, not quite engage, and continue the dance. It was magical! So while we contemplate another perhaps busy work week, the pressures of back to school, life’s challenges, allow your self some time on Sunday to just be, and enjoy life’s magical moments.

time eludes me

and so I stand

watching

helpless

as the hands of time wash over me

again and again

leaving their mark

but never an answer

never even a sign

that I might somehow learn

how to live in this life

where time rushes by

so carelessly

by and by

Lets get one thing straight here. I am not a poet, but I have on occasion written a poem. This one is from quite a few years ago when I was so much more lost than I am today. How grateful I am that I have found my passion and a focus for my life. However there are moments that sneak up on me, when that old feeling is alive again. After yesterdays lovely afternoon at the art museum, I was truly surprised when the doubt showed up this morning. I have learned to embrace those moments rather than run from them. When I sit with my feelings, however unpleasant, let them wash over me, they do pass just like time. Oddly admitting my weak moments makes me stronger in the end. So there you have it. I am human. The art is a bit dark today and I like it that way. Now I am off to enjoy the beautiful weather. Good news the forecast shows sun for the next 10 days as the count down to Labor Day gets serious. Thank you universe! Thank you friends!

I have been more than a little stressed this week as I approach my Labor Day deadline (will I ever learn not to do that?) but today I get a welcome reprieve. Steve and I are going on an art date at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. The special Renoir exhibit is closing in September and we need to take advantage of out museum membership. I am not a huge fan of Renoir (this may have more to do with overexposure than the work), or the impressionists in general, but I have learned not to let that stop me from viewing the work. Much  can be learned from studying art of all kinds whether or not it appeals to you. I have also found that PMA has gotten really good at presenting works in a comparative way that causes me to think differently. No time to get into it now, but I will post a review. I may come away liking Renoir far better than I realized. I know I will come away refreshed and inspired. Happy Thursday!

Monday is a good day to talk about intention I think. I spent much of last year working with Patti Digh and David Robinson on the “Life is a Verb” lessons. I have written about this several times so I won’t go into detail, but one of the six keywords that are focused on is INTENTION. Living with intention in the 37 days context means slowing down, paying attention, and choosing carefully what we think, say, and do. Now I am pretty good thinker, a very good talker, and a slowly improving walker. I think the walking is the hardest part for most of us. Absorbing new ideas and talking about them can be easy, but acting on these things not so much. Trust me if you were to meet me you would think me a lot more together than I am, and I am great at helping others be more productive, focused, whatever. Sound familiar?

So my intention here is to take a step back each Monday and focus myself so that I can walk my talk. To slow down and reflect on where I am, and whether any of my intentions have gone astray, or are not working. As I create my self in the context of PHOTO.WORKS I want to be sure I stay true to my self. Danielle LaPorte at White Hot Truth posted the secret to success. OK right how many times have we heard that? But Danielle is sharp and I know enough to know that she has something worth my time to check out. She did and it was this:

The secret to success: DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO.

~ Danielle La Porte

Do what you say you are going to do. How simple. How easy to NOT do. How many times have I shot myself in the foot saying yes to too much, or to things I don’t want to do? How many times have I set unrealistic time frames and been unable to deliver? To many. So as I approach my self imposed deadline of Labor Day, exactly 2 weeks from now, I have to ask myself can I deliver. The answer is yes, if I keep my focus. While I am happier than I have ever been working for myself and building a business, I am not a natural. I have a little bit more than a little ADD brain and easily get distracted. I am however learning, thanks to the many wise people out there in blog land that are more like me than not, and are succeeding. I will be mentioning these people a lot, because without them I would not be here. But let me get back to intention. I posted earlier this month that I will be relaunching my website on Labor Day. What does this mean? Originally I had in mind mainly to adjust my prices so that I actually pay myself something. More on that another time. Also to get shopping carts activated in all my galleries so that people can shop. Can you say DOH? Lastly I was planning to add a new gallery, but the work is all done. It is just the tedious actions of posting required. No brainers there right, but I realize now there is more. The thing I will tackle this week is one of my most dreaded tasks. The about page/artists bio. GAH it has always been torture. But thanks to Tara Gentile at Scoutie Girl I am confident I can carry this out almost painlessly. I am too jaded to say painlessly, or as Tara puts it stress free. We’ll see. Regardless an new about page will show up here in place of my lame free form list, and I will tweak or rewrite the statement at PHOTO.WORKS. There I said it. ONE STEP AT A TIME.

Any thoughts on how to walk the walk? How not to

BTW the photo is NOT from my home, but from an abandoned house I visited yesterday. Yes I am a lousy housekeeper, but not this lousy. I would like that floor however.

I started out as an illustrator. Correction, I started out as an artist and got a degree in Illustration. My training was classical, focusing on painting and drawing.  I graduated with honors and an award from The Society of Illustrators. My future looked bright, but that was to be the end of my Illustrative success. I got a few little  jobs, but at that time the computer was taking over as the medium of choice for most significant illustration work. There were the the big guys (emphasis on guy) that would always get work in any medium, Brad Holland, Braldt Bralds, Marshall Arisman, Matt Mahurin, and Ralph Steadman to name a few. Topping the charts in the children’s book world was a favorite of mine Chris Van Allsburg. There were of course women out there, especially in the children’s book genre, but it was still a male dominated field, and more importantly for me a computer dominated one for new artists. There I was with no computer skills. So I used my student discount and bought my first Mac. I taught myself as best I could, but never got good enough to compete with the “pros”. I was neither confident nor ambitious enough to pursue my Illustration dreams. To be honest I did not like working in the programs of choice at that time Adobe’s Pagemaker (remember Pagemaker?), and Illustrator. So I went back to work as a graphic artist for a bunch of years and did some painting on my own. I berated myself and felt mostly like a failure. A lot of other jobs came after that and another not quite finished degree in Art Education. Another failure. So it goes… Fast forward to 2006. I have rediscovered a passion for photography in the digital age and purchased my first DSLR, a Nikon D50 I still use as a backup. I started a flickr account and for the first time in years felt alive with creative passion. In the beginning I did mostly straight shooting with a focus on abandoned spaces, but eventually I needed to play with alternatives. Photoshop became my passion and paints and textures made their way into my work. The truth is I never intended to stick with straight photography. Even back in my darkroom days (yes I did have them) I was into alternative printing and double exposures.

Around the time I got the D50 I purchased a book titled “Digital Art Studio” and got really excited about the possibilities, until I realized they required a printer I could not afford. So the book went on the shelf and I carried on with my Photoshop experiments. Sometime this past March my friend Patti Digh (author of Life is a Verb and the award winning blog 37 Days) posted a call for artists to submit work for her upcoming book “Four Word Self Help” . Now I am in possession of my first published (in a book) illustration!

I am so happy with the photo work I am doing, and now doors are opening for me to get back to illustration, AND I am kind of a whiz at the very technology that daunted me 20 years ago. So the moral of this story is.

Never ever give up! ~Winston Churchill

If you have a degree collecting dust while you work at some job you never intended for your self. If you find your skills lacking. If you don’t know what your passion is. Hang in there. Everything you do will one day, most likely make sense. Even that dreaded job (yes I’ve had that job) that includes phrases like “Would you like fries with that?” may prove positive when you find your wings. I know I have no regrets and In spite of a scary economy, scary world in general, I have faith I will do very well (most days). Irony of ironies I may do most of it on a computer!

The illustration up top with the crow is today’s Free Art. Something new as I scanned an old painting and added photographed textures. No need to email me, just leave a comment here and I will send you a high res copy. Happy weekend! I’ll be back Monday with another story about chance.